Introduction

With our discussion on overcoming fear and with November being National Adoption Month, I thought of my good friend, Alexis Arthur. I had the privilege of interviewing her for our Fall 2017 E.P.I.C. (Everyday People Inspiring Change) Story so I can share her inspiring story with you all! She has a beautiful heart for children, especially those in need of love and care. I am so encouraged by her bravery and perseverance to chase a noble dream in spite of fear and other obstacles. As we talked about on the blog, bravery is not a lack of fear but the perseverance in SPITE of fear. I hope this interview will inspire courage, empower action, plant seeds, and even move a few of you to taking that next step towards adoption or foster care. If you’d like to learn more about Alexis and her journey, there are links at the end of this post. Enjoy! And be inspired!

Tell us a little about yourself. Who are you? What should we know about you?

“My name is Alexis and I am a single, 22 year old. I live with my brother and his family and I nanny my nephews. I am also involved in a direct sales business that I hope will one day provide me with the income I need to be a single, stay-at-home foster mom. I’ve always had a dream of being a mom and then a couple of years ago I had the dream of being a foster mom. And I’ve always wanted to be a stay-at-home mom, but I thought that was only possible if I was married. But with this business, it’s possible for me to do it as a single woman. It’s hard and it’s way outside of my comfort zone and it’s something that I never saw myself doing, but I am very excited about the opportunity it holds.”

Becoming a Foster Parent

Tell us about your dream of becoming a foster parent. What led you to this decision? Why do you want to be a foster parent?

“I have always had a deep passion for children, even when I was a child. And I’ve always wanted to be a mom, but I am single and don’t now if or when I’ll be able to be a mom. I had the idea of fostering a few times, but always brushed it off as something that was cool in theory but I wouldn’t be able to actually do, especially not without a husband. And I’m not even sure what made me realize that I could do it and that I would love it, other than God just leading me to that conclusion.

One thing that I think really shaped my love for kids and specifically my desire to help hurting children was that my mom worked at a homeless shelter for most of my childhood. I would be volunteered to help with different things and I grew up just understanding and having compassion for those who were struggling and hurting. And then one of my mom’s very first clients had a little baby and my mom fell in love with her and eventually the little girl and her little brother became family. Their mom was struggling to be a mom so they ended up staying with us a lot of the time. And they were like my little brother and sister. So I got to watch my mom selflessly love someone else’s children and sacrifice for them but then hope and pray that their mom would become the mom that they needed. And eventually she did!

And while this wasn’t through the foster care system and those children were never in the system, I witnessed, starting at a young age, someone sacrificing and giving and loving children like they were her own, that she knew would never be hers. So I think that was one of the biggest influences that led me to my desire to foster. And like I said, I have always wanted to be a mom, and fostering will allow me to be a mother figure to children who have just been taken from their moms. I will get to show love to children who have been through things that I could never imagine. I get to show Jesus to children who might otherwise never have heard anything positive about Him.”

What is the process you’re taking to becoming a foster parent?

“To become a foster parent you have to go through an orientation class and then go through a several week training, during which they will also do home studies. I have completed the orientation class; however, I do not yet have my own place, so I can’t go through the training because they can’t do the home study. Right now, my brother and sister-in-law have been kind enough to open up their home and their refrigerator to me while I nanny their two boys and work on building my direct sales business, which will hopefully allow me to not only support myself, but support myself while working from home. So currently I am just trying to support myself so that I can get my own place and start the training and home studies.”

Taking the Risk

Tell us about your business and the recent leap you took.

“In February of this year, my sister-in-law told me about an amazing new business that she thought I should look into. It didn’t sound like anything I would be interested in, but the opportunities were too great for her to not tell me about. And after I looked into it a bit, I decided that it would be a good investment. I’m pretty shy and not sales-y, and I’ve always been a bit of a tomboy, never been that into makeup, and this business was a makeup sales company. But this makeup is the best stuff I have ever used! It’s all long-lasting and anti-aging! We have a skincare line, but the cosmetics are skincare as well and I have seen a huge difference in my skin just in the nine months since I started and I haven’t even been consistent in using it! Sometimes I will go a whole week or more without washing my face with our products or wearing makeup and my face has still improved more than I ever realized it needed to!

So anyway, even though this was something that I never would have thought about a few years ago, I have completely fallen in love with these products! What I’m working on now is doing better at selling it. When I graduated from college I started a job at a small grocery store and I loved the job, but I wasn’t getting anywhere with my business and I was missing out on time with my nephews. So after some prayer, thinking, and talking to different people, I decided to take the leap and quit my job so that I could focus solely on my family and my business. And let me tell you, it has not been easy! Selling makeup is not my passion and it’s hard to remember that it is worth me putting in the effort because it will help me be able to achieve my passion of helping hurting children.”

Facing Fear

What fears do you have about becoming a foster parent? What fears  do you have with your business?

“My fears about becoming a foster parent are endless. I am afraid of taking care of a child on my own. I am afraid of taking care of hurting children and not knowing how to help them. I’m afraid of falling in love with a child and then letting them go. I’m afraid of falling in love with a child and letting them go back to a family that might still hurt them. I’m afraid of not being able to handle my emotions and the emotions of the children I’m trying to help. I am also afraid that I will never make it to the place where I can foster. And there are many more that I can’t think of or can’t put into words.

I also have many fears with my business. I am afraid of failing. I’m afraid of annoying people by talking to them about it. I’m afraid of failing my customers. I’m afraid of failing my downline. I’m afraid of talking to people about my business. I’m afraid of trying to sell things to people. I’m afraid of leading the people who are under me. But my biggest fear is never being able to make enough money with this business to be able to support myself and allow me to foster.”

What has helped you to keep going in spite of your fears?

“Really, the biggest thing that has helped me keep going, despite my fears, has been the Lord. I feel that what I am working towards is something that He has called me to do and I feel that He has blessed me in the way I’m working toward it with my business. Sometimes I cry to Him telling Him that I can’t do it, that I want to just give up because I’ll never make it there, or once I do make it there, I won’t be able to handle it. But every time, He comforts me and reminds me who He is and He reminds me of His power and He reminds me of the love I have for children and my passion to help them. He encourages me and gives me the strength to keep going in spite of all of my fears.”

Lessons and Encouragement

Have you learned anything new about yourself through this journey?

“Through this journey I have learned that I am capable of more than I ever thought I was. I’ve learned that I can follow my calling, despite how I feel others perceive me.”

What would you say to someone who is interested in fostering or adopting a child?

“If anyone has any desire whatsoever of fostering or adopting a child, please pursue that! There are so many children that need loving, stable parents, even if those parents are just temporary. The children in the foster system need to experience hope and understand that there is more life than the mess that they live in. And the children waiting for forever homes can only hold out hope that someone will love them for so long. It is not the fault of these children that they are in the situations they are in, and we as adults have the opportunity to help them deal with what they’ve been given.

If you are interested in fostering or adopting, find someone who has done it before and talk to them, pick their brain, and have them tell you stories, good, bad, and ugly. Do research. Find out if it’s something that you and your family really want to do and are in the position to do. Don’t go into it half-hearted. And find a support system. It will be hard. I haven’t started fostering yet and it’s already hard and I already need a support system. And I know that once I start it’s going to be harder than I ever imagined. So talk to as many people as you can, find a support system, go to the classes, pray about it if you’re a believer, and don’t let your fear talk you out of it.”

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Thank you so much for sharing your inspiring story with us, Alexis! You have come so far and I know you’ll be able to reach your goal and that you’ll be an AMAZING foster mom. I firmly believe that. Thank you for letting your life also be an encouragement and inspiration to others by sharing your journey–wins, struggles, fears, and all!

To my readers:

If you’d like to follow along with Alexis’s journey, you can read her blog here.

If you’re interested in learning about her business and/or supporting her dream of fostering children, you can click here to request to join her Facebook group.

And if you’d like to send her a friend request or a personal message, click here for her Facebook page.

If you’ve found any kind of encouragement in Alexis’s story or know someone who could also benefit from hearing her story, please share it! For quick sharing, there are links at the top of this page or you can use this premade click-to-tweet below.