I recall sitting in my first graduate class, in a small computer room on the campus of Boston College, and participating in a discussion on the importance of connection and acceptance all while feeling detached, different, and alone.
I had just moved to Boston to pursue a Masters degree in Sociology and, although excited for this new adventure that awaited me, I was also saddened by the reality of physically leaving the city shared by all of my family and closest friends.
I recall struggling to connect with those around me for the first few months of graduate school, and wondering if there was something wrong with me. Everyone around me appeared to enjoy going out after late night classes, gathering at someone’s home for football games, and spending down time in the break room between classes, all while I did not. Needing to speak to someone about my struggle, I decided to knock on the door of one of my professors, unaware that I was about to encounter one of the biggest shifts in perspective I’ve ever experienced. My professor chuckled at my frustrations and comforted me by pulling out a copy of the SMALLEY Personality Assessment and placing it on the table in front of me.
Personality assessments might sound a bit intimidating or even a little to complicated for some women, but really once one understands the purpose of them one might see how they can simply be just another tool that one may put in one’s toolbox as a way to better understand oneself and others. In my 10 years of practice I have utilized personalty assessments in premarital and marital counseling sessions, when working with employees who are struggling to connect with co-workers or their supervisors, or individuals who simply want to learn a little more about how they might be innately wired. One of the assessments that I tend to use is referred to as the Gary Smalley Personality Assessment, as it focuses on both strengths and challenges of each personality and uses an analogy of animals, providing an easier way of remembering the information. This test intentionally does not identify anything as “wrong” or abnormal with people but places behaviors, responses, feelings, and actions on continuum, making this a very inclusive assessment tool.
There are 4 types of personalities that are revealed through the Smalley Assessment: the powerful lion, excitable otter, loyal golden retriever, and detailed beaver. Although the use of animals might seem as if they are oversimplifying this concept of personality natures, you can begin to imagine, for example, what might occur during important discussions if you score as a friendly golden retriever and your significant other scores as a roaring lion. These identifiers can be very telling as to what might occur in heated interactions among individuals in a committed relationship: the individual who scores as a golden retriever might try to be a peacemaker, avoid confrontation, and internalize feelings and the individual who scores as a lion might say whatever hurtful words necessary to win the argument. But having a better understanding of how one “typically” operates can help you become better equipped and prepared to respond with loved ones, in the workplace, and throughout day to day interactions.
As a psychology major and a counselor who’s worked in the field with case managers, psychologists, psychiatrists, and social workers I’ve seen the benefits of using standardized testing, evaluations, and assessments tools as helpful ways to help our clients better understand themselves, decisions they make, and ways they behave, but I always ensure that I warn my clients of what I call the “personality trap.” This tool is simply to provide you one more thing that you can read up on or check out as a way to learn more about you and others, and not meant to place you in a box that has no exit door. Don’t get caught in the trap of allowing this tool, along with online quizzes or tests, to define who you are! Have fun, learn, and assess away!
If you’re interested in learning more and taking the assessment, click here!
If you feel comfortable, comment below to tell us your results and one thing you learned from this.
Natalie Rosado, LMHC, is a licensed mental health counselor who has worked in this field for close to 10 years, helping women overcome the difficult challenges of anxiety, depression, life purpose, stress, and entrepreneurship. She is also the founder of Live Whole Box, a self-care subscription box for women who are too busy to care for themselves! For weekly tips and ideas on living a more balanced life, click here to join the newsletter.
Wow i did the 5 minute test and it was me to the tee.very correct.only thing is i dont hold grudges fir long.but everything else was acurate