The 5 Love Languages

When I first heard about the five love languages I was very skeptical. I knew that it had helped a lot of couples through their marriage struggles, but I didn’t see how it could apply to my single life. Why would I need to speak a love language if I wasn’t in love?

However, I understood quickly that love isn’t exclusive to romantic relationships. After reading the book, I started examining the love languages of everybody around me. My family, my close friends, and even a few of my co-workers (crazy I know).

I made sure to speak my parents’ and siblings’ love languages fluently because I wanted them to feel loved and it worked (daughter of the year it is)!

However, the real revelation was finding out my own love language. I thought back to past relationships (not necessarily romantic) and realized that some of them might not have failed because the other person intentionally tried to hurt me. Maybe they had failed because the person just didn’t speak my love language and didn’t understand how the absence of certain actions made me feel? Revolutionary!

The beauty about identifying my own Love Language and those of others is that I was able to improve my relationships.

Here are the five common ways human beings express love:

Gifts:
The love language “Gifts” is not as superficial as people might assume. All it means is that a person appreciates when you invest time, love, and thoughtfulness into a gift.

Which means a gift doesn’t have to be expensive, but meaningful. A good way to choose the right one is to listen to hints they might drop throughout the day.

Acts of Service:
In order to communicate love to someone whose love language is “Acts of Service”, you need to be prepared to be selfless and be of service to them.

Oftentimes daily tasks, such as packing their lunch or helping them pick out a shirt for work, will make their life feel easier and take off the burden.

Quality Time:
If someone’s primary love language is “Quality Time”’ it means that he/she receives love the best by spending time with them.

No matter if you go on a walk at the park or watch their favorite tv show together, what matters is that he/she has your undivided attention.

Touch:
People who speak this love language like to feel your closeness through any form of physical touch.

A hug, holding hands, or resting your arm on their shoulder is a good way to communicate your love to them. Remember to be gentle and loving when using “touch.”

Words of Affirmation:
People with this language prefer to receive love through words. For example, they will need to hear you say “I love you” or “I appreciate you” to feel loved.

To be in a successful relationship with them, it is important to show your appreciation through spoken or written word.

Being able to identify somebody’s love language has the power to enhance every relationship in your life. You are able to engage in activities/habits that will make them feel loved. You will also learn an unexpected amount about yourself and understand what love language comes naturally to you.

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Note from Anna:

Thank you, Justine, for sharing about The Five Love Languages!

If anyone is interested in learning more, check out The 5 Love Languages website; they even have a quiz you can take to help you figure out your own top love languages!

What’s your love language? Comment below!